


you could be the one i'll always love

by merlypops



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Best Friends, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Angst, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Platonic Kissing, it's so lame but it's cute i promise, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 12:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8489899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?” Phil asked softly, bumping Dan lightly with his elbow. “You’re sort of stuck with me now, Dan. I’ve grown attached.”Dan gave Phil a watery smile, sniffing tearfully as he turned his head to dry his cheeks on the shoulder of his jumper.“You’re such a spork,” Dan said softly and Phil snorted out a quiet laugh, clawing weakly at the air as his cheeks blushed.“That’s rich coming from you, Mr Hobbit Hair.”
  Dan is sad but Phil always makes him feel better.
Based on “Unintended” by Muse.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everlastingcontrast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everlastingcontrast/gifts).



> because charlotte is amazing, and we both love dan and phil, and i really hope she'll like this!!
> 
> this is my first ever phan fic so please be gentle with me omg <3

_**You are an amazing atomic reincarnation. All the energy you've ever given out, every vibration and bit of heat that ever left your body will continue forever, warming and touching the lives of those around. So, you'll see: we will always be together, somewhere. For a while.** _

**\- The Book Of Everyone**

 

Dan’s existential crisis didn’t feel the same this time.

He wasn’t lying face-down on the carpet in the hallway and tripping his flatmate up. He wasn’t contemplating how pointless life was as he poured too many Lucky Charms into a Winnie The Pooh cereal bowl. He wasn’t thinking about how everybody he loved would one day be dead while he was washing his hair in the shower, or how alone everyone was in the universe, or how desperately _useless_ everything felt as he crawled under the desk to plug his hair straighteners in.

He was thinking about Phil instead; about how much closer they had grown over seven years together. Dan was closer to Phil than he was to anyone in the world and he was sure that would never change; they’d been living together for years now after all - first in Manchester and later in London - and those years had been some of the best of Dan’s life.

Phil made him forget to worry about the endless terrifying universe they found themselves in.

Phil made him forget to worry about a lot of things.

Huh.

Maybe it wasn’t an existential crisis after all.

Maybe Dan just couldn’t live without Phil anymore.

“Nice sofa crease.”

The familiar voice came out of nowhere and Dan flinched, almost dropping his laptop on the floor as he jerked his head up to see his flatmate standing in the doorway to the living room.

“Huh? What?” Dan mumbled unthinkingly, cheeks flushing as he leant forwards to place his laptop carefully on the coffee table.

Phil was already wearing his pyjamas despite it being so early in the evening and his black hair was soft across his forehead, falling messily over his glasses. He was cradling a One Direction mug of tea in his pale hands and there was a slightly knowing expression on his face.

“You know, it’s funny,” Phil said suddenly, in a tone that indicated he didn’t find it amusing at all. “Usually you lie on the carpet when you’re having an existential crisis.” Dan sighed heavily, resisting the urge to turn away and roll his eyes into the corner of the room like he was in The Office.

“I’m not having an existential crisis today, Phil,” Dan said firmly, slowly becoming aware that this might be more convincing if he could wipe the mildly traumatised expression off his face. “I’m just… thinking.”

“About what?” Phil asked but his face was softer now as he came in, dropping lightly down onto the sofa beside his best friend. A little of the tea slopped over the side of the mug but, in the interests of being a nice person, Dan decided not to call him out on it.

“Dil maybe?” Dan suggested, buying time. “Or how great your socks are right now?”

“Oh.” Phil looked mildly pleased for a moment, glancing down at his feet and smiling. “I bought them the other week. Pineapples on one foot and dragons on the other.”

“What’s not to love?” Dan said sarcastically but even his voice softened now. It was hard to feel stressed or scared when Phil was sitting here beside him which, arguably, was where all of the trouble had started.

“You’ve gone closed off again,” Phil noticed, his blue eyes narrowing faintly although he looked concerned now. “Did you not want company? I can leave if you -”

“Please don’t.”

The words escaped Dan before he could help himself and Phil looked worried now, setting his mug down on the table and shifting a little closer so that he could rest his head on Dan’s shoulder. The younger man closed his eyes.

“What’s wrong, Dan?” Phil whispered, one hand finding his best friend’s and giving it a gentle squeeze. Dan took it tightly in both of his own. “What’s the matter?”

Dan didn’t know how to tell Phil that he was terrified of losing him; that he was scared he wouldn’t know who he was without Phil by his side.

Dan had felt so lost before he met Phil all those years ago.

He didn’t think he could survive losing someone he loved that much.

“I don’t -” Dan’s voice broke off and he swallowed hard past the lump rising in his throat, dark eyes squeezed tightly shut because he _refused_ to cry right now. Everything in his life was working out and he should have felt _happy_ but… but he just felt small instead.

“Dan?” Phil asked softly, easing his hand free so that he could wrap his arm around his best friend’s shoulders instead. Phil dropped a chaste kiss onto the top of his head and Dan’s breath escaped him in a shaky sigh.

“Let’s… let’s talk about something happy,” Dan said pleadingly, hating that his cheeks were flaming… that his long eyelashes were spiky with tears. Phil let his head fall to rest gently against Dan’s shoulder again and the younger man calmed.

“Watching Avatar with you in those stupid 3D glasses,” Phil said instantly, his pale lips twitching up into a small smile. “Going to Japan and wishing for pandas not to be extinct.”

“I wished about Kanye,” Dan said but his chocolate brown eyes were fond now and Phil giggled into his neck which made the younger man’s heart melt a little bit.

“You did!” Phil said excitedly. “And then there was the time in Australia with the koalas and the emu, and how terrified we were that we were going to get eaten by spiders the size of Aragog.”

“When I made that stupid video about kidnapping you,” Dan said suddenly but he was smirking a tiny bit now and Phil beamed, relaxing visibly. “And we did the sexy internet dating and that weird guy sent our location and -”

“- and you hid in your room and refused to leave the house for a month,” Phil interjected, grinning crookedly when Dan shot him a weak scowl. “I remember that.” Phil’s sparkling blue eyes were a lot softer now and Dan relaxed as the last of the tension left him, slumping down into Phil’s side as the older man drew him into a gentle hug.

“What about that week when you came to stay with me at my house?” Phil asked softly, his voice gentler now as Dan tilted his head to look up at him. “Do you remember how fun that was? We watched Wall-E on my sofa and then we cried, and we had to go out for sushi the next day to recover.”

A tear slipped down Dan’s cheek without his permission but Phil was kind enough not to comment, simply holding the younger man closer instead and dropping another kiss into his hair.

“Those cuddles in bed,” Phil said softly, his voice little more than a whisper now. “Three hour breakfasts… We should have more of those.” Dan smiled faintly and Phil let out a quiet sigh, cuddling him tighter. “Lying on the sofa and watching films together. Messing around in my bed.”

Dan’s eyebrow twitched at that and Phil laughed breathlessly, rolling his eyes as he imagined the sort of things Dan must have been thinking of right now. He gave Dan a reprimanding poke on the nose and the younger man grinned weakly, turning his face away into Phil’s chest. After a moment of hesitation, the older man started to pet Dan’s dark hair gently.

“Your family of house plants,” the younger man said quietly, smiling just enough that his dimples creased his cheeks. “How you trip over air and spilt tea at DAPGOOSE and… and how you made me feel like it was okay to eat even when I didn’t want to or… or when I realised I...”

His voice trailed away into silence and Phil looked at him, his blue eyes wide and faintly nervous now although there seemed to be hope glimmering in them all the same.

“When you realised you _what_ , Dan?” the older man asked quietly.

Dan closed his eyes but he was too tired to pretend anymore.

“When I realised that maybe I love you a bit _more_ than you should love your best friend.”

Phil’s eyes widened but Dan was still refusing to look at him, like maybe if he kept his eyes shut then he could pretend this wasn’t really happening at all. Phil kissed his nose and Dan looked up at him in sudden shock, his expression more than a little dazed.

“You didn’t tip your drink all over me or tell me to piss off,” Dan noted, his voice faint as he pushed himself shakily into a sitting position. “Phil? Does that mean…?”

“That seven years of flirting wasn’t a lost cause?” the older man asked teasingly, making Dan’s eyes crinkle despite himself as he started to smile. Phil’s hand found Dan’s once more and, once again, Phil proved how well he knew Dan as he said just what the younger man had needed to hear.

“You know I’m not going anywhere, right?” he asked softly, bumping Dan lightly with his elbow. “You’re sort of stuck with me now, Dan. I’ve grown attached.”

Dan gave Phil a watery smile, sniffing tearfully as he turned his head to dry his cheeks on the shoulder of his jumper.

“You’re such a spork,” Dan said softly and Phil snorted out a quiet laugh, clawing weakly at the air as his cheeks blushed.

“That’s rich coming from you, Mr Hobbit Hair.”

Dan smiled wider but his heart was beating more calmly in his chest now and the feelings of hopelessness had gone.

“You’re really not going anywhere?” he asked softly and Phil smiled, lacing their fingers together securely.

“I’m not leaving, Dan,” Phil said gently. “I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!
> 
> please let me know what you thought by leaving comments/kudos <3


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